MUN 2012: Where the Geeky Get Freaky

By Anna Campbell, staff reporter

My second year at the National High School Model United Nations conference, NHSMUN, was a highly anticipated event. We had waited for the day to come for almost a year, and shopped furiously for the requisite biz-cas clothes. Finally the day had come, and two modes of transport had arrived at the school; the bus, for the regular old plebeians, and the limo.

Clearly I was in the limo! We entertained ourselves by screaming at people outside who couldn’t see through the tinted windows, and finding drinks in the hidden compartments. It was, surprisingly, more cramped than the bus, although equipped with (empty) champagne buckets and disco lighting. The proximity to certain teachers was a little stifling, but we bore it surprisingly well.

  I had a few goals I wanted to accomplish, namely to yolo to the fullest extent, to not lose my wallet, and to debate and fully commit to the conference. And, loosely and generally, I did accomplish those goals.

  The Sturgis MUN crew, looking fly, cruised into the Sheraton by four o’clock, and our hotel rooms were exactly as I recalled. I made the mistake of breaking into a six-dollar bar of Toblerone planted in my way, but as a whole we managed not to succumb to the temptations of the room refrigerator, which was wired with a complicated bomb apparatus to stop possible thieves from stealing excess Pringles and Grey Goose.

  The Hilton was better. The conferences, held in enormous conference rooms within the upper levels of the hotel, were filled with young, highly attractive and international businessmen, which was essentially what we had come for- excuse me, I meant international issues. The country I represented along with Renee Orcione, Ketryn Kotchka and Rachael Bardfield, Uzbekistan, was debating child labor in my conference room, SOCHUM (Social, Humanitarian and Cultural issues) and regrettably, I had to debate for the benefits of child labor, since Uzbekistan’s child labor is a major sect of their economy. My colleagues and I signed paper after working paper arguing for the benefits of child labor, and played hangman during caucuses. I realized I had to kick my addiction to Starbucks, but told myself today was not the day. Multiple cups of coffee were necessary to suffer through Spain’s rambling.

  Although I did accomplish my second goal, not losing my wallet, somehow all my money bled through my willing fingers. Where did the money go?! I kept asking myself. Somehow I spent 100$ on the second day of our journey, and although I allotted 8$ for the final day, I spent 40$ instead. Well, you only live once, I told myself.

  Obviously, the highlight of the trip was the infamous MUN dance. For those who haven’t been, it’s a fact that the geeky DO get freaky. A former ballroom had been transformed overnight into a hallucinogenic nightclub crammed with five hundred sweating, dancing teenagers. We pregamed hard in preparation for the event, but, as always, the dance itself was something of a disappointment. The method of courting in the dance was for strange boys to creep up behind innocent ravers, hiss in their ears, “Wanna dance?” and forcibly dance the night away. We didn’t wear the customary MUN stilettos because of the sheer amount of sprinting necessary to flee from odious males.

  The next morning was agony. Dozens of MUN students made the walk of shame to the United Nations building, and we all dutifully voted in the United Nations building after the long-winded security check. I made it back to Sturgis feeling like a new woman, and can’t wait for next year.

Head of the Dragon: Part III

by Cooper Heilmann, staff writer


Link to Part II: http://sturgisstormwatch.blogspot.com/2012/03/head-of-dragon-part-ii.html

Eric walked down the path to the smithy, where he worked with Asvald, the village blacksmith.  It was a dark day, and the clouds hung low in the sky.  Smoke rose from the chimneys of the huts.  It was an unusually cold day, so Eric wore furs and leather to keep warm.  Odin’s totem stood in the center of the village square.  It was a carved pole of wood that depicted Odin wearing a deer skull mask and two ravens on his shoulders.  In times of need, the village would gather around it and ask Odin for the wisdom to fix their problem.
The steady ringing of steel resonated from the blacksmith’s shop as always.  The past few days seemed to have gone by very slowly.  Eric couldn’t wait for his sixteenth birthday.  It was then that he would receive his first weapon.  Eric had practiced with many swords before, and he was a fine sword fighter.  However, he wasn’t as skilled as he would have liked—not as good as his father.  He loved nothing more than to listen to all the tales of heroes that slew frost giants in the north, or blessed by Thor, the god of thunder and war.  One of his favorite stories was Beowulf and Grendel.  When he was little, he always wanted to be Beowulf.  He would spend hours pretending to be strong heroes that would vanquish monsters with their bare hands.
 Eric knocked on the door of the blacksmith once, but there was no answer.  He just stepped in.
Asvald was hammering an axe into shape when Eric came in.  He looked up from his work and greeted him.
“Eric, how good of you to come.  Are you ready to get started?” Asvald asked.
“Sure,” Eric replied.
“That’s my boy!” Asvald said.  “Get those young muscles of yours pumping!”  He went about his daily job of pumping the bellows and refueling the fire.
Eric finished his work late.  The moon was shrouded by the clouds, and the lights were out inside the houses.  He was about to head back home when he heard something behind him.  He froze in his tracks and slowly turned around.  There, crouching behind him was the dark shape of a wolf.  It’s ragged silver fur glistened in the moonlight and its amber yellow eyes glared at him.  Eric looked around for something to fend it off with.  He had dealt with wolves before and he knew how dangerous they were.  They used to kill the village’s sheep and chickens.  However, this one seemed angry.  Its eyes were hungry for him.
The door of the smithy was only a few paces away.  If he moved, the wolf could pounce.  He was about to wait it out when the wolf suddenly dashed towards him.  He only just had time to doge the beast as it leaped at him.  He stumbled and backed up to the smithy door.  The wolf rolled over and charged him again.  Eric grabbed the torch by the door and threw it at the wolf.  He hit his target, but the wolf shrugged it off.  It leaped straight at him.  He rolled out of the way and picked up the nearest object: a hammer.
    Eric brandished the hammer and waved it in the air, trying to scare the wolf away.  Just then, another wolf appeared behind him.  The first wolf leaped at him.  Eric’s hammer struck the wolf and the the beast hit the wall of the smithy.  The second one tackled him to the ground, and he kicked it off him.  It charged him again, and he spun around and hit it in the shoulder.  The wolf collapsed on the ground with a whimper.  Eric ran for his house, the hammer still in his hand.  He could hear the howls of more wolves coming for him.  He knew he was in trouble.
Three wolves were behind him, sprinting after him at an incredible speed.  Eric ran as fast as his powerful legs could carry him.  He started yelling, trying to spread the alarm.  The wolves were almost upon him, and he knew no one would help him now.  A sudden surge of bravery hit him.  He stopped in his tracks and swerved around.  Just as a wolf leaped at him, he swiped it out of the air with the hammer.  It flew sideways into the wall of a hut and rolled on the ground, whimpering.  The other two wolves kept coming.
Eric ran to the nearest hut and ran up the wall.  He grabbed the thatch roof and hoisted himself up just before the wolf’s jaws snapped shut by his heel.  The wolves jumped and snapped at him while he regained his breath.  He looked around him.  He could see more wolves running into the village from the forest.  All of a sudden, they stopped and backed up.  They ran at the wall as if trying to scale it.  Eric panicked for a second, but his battle instincts took over.
He ran and jumped off the roof of the hut, his hammer raised above his head.  He yelled a war cry and smashed down on a running wolf.  He stood up to face the other wolf, but it backed away in fear.  Behind him, he could see half a dozen warriors from the village emerge from the huts with torches and swords.  A dead wolf lay at his uncle Bjorn’s foot.  The last wolf retreated, and was joined by three more.  Eric stood, breathing heavily, and watched them dash back into the darkness of the forest.

Underdogs Triumph in the Sturgis Dodgeball Tournament

by Kevin Agostinelli, staff reporter


The annual Sturgis Dodge ball Tournament just experienced a major “déjà vu.” Yes, a freshman team once again beat the odds to win the coveted dodge ball champion bragging rights for 365 days.

Sturgis East freshman Grant Dauwaulder was the founder of Team Ryan Braun - named after the Milwaukee Brewers All-Star baseball player - who donned red shirts for the highly-anticipated event. Team Ryan Braun was handed a lucky first round bye, lining them up in the quarterfinals against the Red Hot Balls of Fury, arguably the dodgeball tournament favorites. The Red Hot Balls of Fury had already lived up to their name in the first round, dominating their opponent with their impressive veteran roster.

In the quarterfinals, the Red Hot Balls of Fury first bent but did not break, gradually knocking out Team Ryan Braun’s squad until Grant Dauwaulder was the lone survivor, up against five Red Hot Balls of Fury players. However, hundreds of members of the Sturgis community watched in amazement as Dauwaulder coolly fought and evaded his opponents, knocking them out until he was one-on-one with the last Red hot Balls of Fury member. After the game stretched into overtime, Grant knocked out his final opponent, sending his teammates and the school into a frenzy of excitement. The underdogs had won, but the title was not yet theirs.

Fortunately for Team Ryan Braun, the team of teachers did not present much of a problem in the semifinals, and the young squad once again celebrated as they advanced to the championship game. Their opponent would be none other than “Dirty Mike and the Boys,” with the title being a reference to Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg’s hit movie The Other Guys.

The match was completely even, as both teams continued to knock out one another until Sturgis West’s Haleigh Linehan of Team Ryan Braun was faced with a 1-on-1 duel with the last member on Team “Dirty Mike and the Boys.” Luckily for Team Ryan Braun, Haleigh finished off the game just as Grant Dauwalder had done, knocking out her opponent and putting an end to a fantastic dodge ball tournament.

Congratulations to all those who participated in the dodgeball tournament and in the festivities that followed, and special accolades go out to the young but victorious Team Ryan Braun!